Books and Reviews
No Team Player… a neurotypical's life married to a man with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
by Judith Newton
Autism (Asperger's Syndrome) has been widely publicized and studied. What's not known is the way this hidden, unique, complex neurological/developmental/biological disorder negatively affects the other neurotypical family members living daily with their difficulties.
This is the first personal account of a wife's journey to find some answers for the confusion and chaos which is hidden from the outside world. The disbelief, denial and even blame, by the medical and psychiatric community add to her grief.
Karen Rodman has written an enlightening foreword to the dilemma faced by millions caring for their loved ones in the face of community and social opposition to the truth of many people's lives.
Edition 5 AVAILABLE as an e-book $10.00 AUD here.
Edition 5 paperback also available $30.00 AUD inc p&h
From "The Critic's Bookshelf" - May 2011
Asperger's Syndrome in Adults… Is Anyone Listening?
Collected by Karen E. Rodman, Jessica Kingsley Publishing UK: www.jkp.com. Available at Amazon
This book, a collection of essays and poems looks at the loneliness, frustration and sadness experienced, not by the person with the Syndrome, but by their partners, parents and other family members: it is they who have to cope with the absence of communication, affection and empathy expected from a reciprocal, loving relationship.
Many of the contributors to this volume describe the relief of discovering that their personal nightmare has a name and they are no longer alone.
Compiled by Karen Rodman this book is one outcome of that discovery. A founder of FAAAS Inc (Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome) her contribution describes the pain and desolation of her life before her husband was diagnosed at the age of 69 with Asperger's and Tourette's Syndromes. Such late diagnosis is now being sought in many cases where assessment prior to the mid 1980's yielded few or inadequate answers. Lorna Wing's seminal paper in 1983 lifted the lid on a Pandora's Box. These are just some of the stories that were hidden there.
Review by Dr Elmer Philbin, Irish Journal of Medical Science, Volume 174, Number 1
Broken: My relationship with an undiagnosed Asperger's partner by Katy Ford (Author)
Broken: this is how I felt after I came out of a physically and mentally exhausting relationship with my undiagnosed Asperger's partner. He broke me and it’s been a long haul to get myself back to mental fitness. This is my story of my time with my ASOH (Asperger's other half) and I hope it clarifies the dynamics of a relationship with someone who has undiagnosed AS. You really would not believe how this damaging relationship has changed me from being a happy, loving, healthy, smart lady to an emotional and physical wreck for the sake of a one-sided relationship.
It broke me it made me think I was going insane while he walked away un-scarred. I realise that not all relationships are the same and this is just my take on my experience.
I didn't write this book to destroy my ex I actually started to write the book for myself as it felt cathartic to write everything down. My ex ASOH was not a bad man he did not mean to do the things he did but the lack of love and affection and the complete absence of emotional reciprocity nearly destroyed me.
My ex did not know he had Asperger’s neither did I it was only after I had left him and he moved on straight away that I started to research why he had no feelings. How could you move on from a 13 year relationship without a backward glance? He had rejected me emotionally for almost 12 of the 13 years I was with him and now he had delivered the final rejection, he had moved on without a care.
While researching and trying to make sense of the last 13 years of my life I came across so many differing personality types, none of which fit my ex until I came across Asperger’s or High Functioning Autism as it is now known. AS fit my ex like a glove, the lack of warmth, affection, conversation and poor social interactions he was classic AS.
I hope by reading this book that it might save just one of you lonely Neuro Typical (normal) partners from the painful situation I found myself in. Don’t read this book if you don’t want read swearing or you want to salvage your relationship. This book is not about making an AS/NT relationship work it’s about the damage done to the NT spouse by being in this kind of relationship. If my story offends you, tough, it’s true totally true I have a right to give the story from my point of view and not from a totally empathy free AS point of view.
I am aware that I have had some bad reviews for this book and I am certain that these reviews were left by someone with AS. I have been told that this book is hate speech, it’s not hate speech or full of lies and I will not be silenced by bad reviews.
People with AS like to be described as sensitive and misunderstood not as the totally empathy free beings that they are. If you are in a relationship with someone with AS they will cause you significant emotional damage. Life with someone with AS is not pretty and sweet its hard work it’s exhausting and the best you can hope for is to learn coping strategies to deal with them. Even if you do learn coping strategies to live with someone with AS this will still leave you exhausted and you will still have a one-sided relationship.
The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome
by Dr. Tony Attwood, Jessica Kingsley Publishing, UK: www.jkp.com
The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome is the definitive handbook for anyone affected by Asperger's syndrome. It brings together a wealth of information on all aspects the syndrome for children through to adults.
1. causes and indications of the syndrome
2. the diagnosis and its effect on the individual
3. theory of mind
4. the perception of emotions in self and others
5. social interaction, including friendships
6. long-term relationships
7. teasing, bullying and mental health issues
8. the effect of AS on language and cognitive abilities, sensory sensitivity, movement and co-ordination skills
9. career development.
There is also an invaluable frequently asked questions chapter and a section listing useful resources for anyone wishing to find further
information on a particular aspect of AS, as well as literature and educational tools.
Essential reading for families and individuals affected by AS as well as teachers, professionals and employers coming in contact with
people with AS, this book should be on the bookshelf of anyone who needs to know or is interested in this complex condition.
Counselling for Asperger Couples, by Barrie Thompson, (Cassandra Phenomenon is discussed in Chapter Four) Jessica Kingsley Publishing UK: www.jkp.com. Available at Amazon
Social Intelligence, The New Science of Human Relationships, by Daniel Goleman, (Chapter 9, MINDBLIND) bantam Books: www.bantamdell.com. Available at Amazon.
Counselling for Asperger Couples
by Barrie Thompson. (Cassandra Phenomenon is discussed in Chapter Four)
Jessica Kingsley Publishing UK: www.jkp.com - Available at Amazon
"Asperger Counselling for Couples" is the first book to provide a model for counselling couples where one partner or a child has Asperger Syndrome. The book provides details of the different stages of the model and includes anecdotal evidence from clients who have used it. The author explains the importance of initial separate counselling, and describes the co-counselling process using case studies to demonstrate useful strategies. The book offers valuable advice on improving communication and cooperation, and includes photocopiable activity sheets.Based on considerable experience and research, this book will be invaluable for counsellors treating couples where one partner has Asperger Syndrome.
Social Intelligence - The New Science of Human Relationships.
by Daniel Goleman, (Chapter 9, MINDBLIND)
Bantam Books: www.bantamdell.com - Available at Amazon.
Goleman persuasively argues for a new social model of intelligence drawn from the emerging field of social neuroscience. Describing what happens to our brains when we connect with others, Goleman demonstrates how relationships have the power to mold not only human experience but also human biology.
Asperger's Syndrome - That Explains Everything: Strategies for Education, Life Skills and Just About Everything Else
by Stephen Bradshaw
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 30/11/2012 - 300 pages
Students with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) frequently find the school environment challenging, despite often having a high level of academic ability, because their unique social and sensory difficulties are not fully understood or accommodated.
This book clearly explains proven and practical approaches in education and care that will enable young people with AS in primary and secondary education to thrive. The author uses anecdotes from his extensive teaching experience to illustrate potential problem areas and put forward solutions. There are useful strategies for dealing with issues relating to anxiety, communication, social rules, relationships and classroom behavior. Accounts from parents and young people with AS who have benefited from the approaches described in the book are also included.
This book is a comprehensive and accessible resource for teachers, carers and professionals working with young people with AS, equipping them with the insight to help AS pupils succeed, not only in school, but in the wider world. Parents will also find it useful.
Dr Bradshaw has also truthfully exposed the baffling behaviours which cause angst for spouses in relationships with those on the Spectrum.
"At last, a book that provides a comprehensive and thorough understanding of the complex subject - Asperger's syndrome. Written by a true expert in the subject, in a style that reflects Stephen Bradshaw's clear understanding of the needs of affected individuals, their families, and the professionals in the position of supporting them. This easy-to-read book should be recommended to those new to the subject, as well as those who are more experienced but who still struggle with understanding the 'why's that surround Asperger's syndrome." Pamela Yates, Consultant on autism spectrum conditions
In the chapter on criminal autistic psychopathy Fitzgerald highlights the overlap between psychopathy and autism. Hans Asperger in his initial descriptions recognised the overlap between psychopathy and autism with his term autistic psychopathy. This idea faded from view over the last thirty years because there was a wish to separate autism from psychopathy. This wish did not prevent the overlap. Fitzgerald (2010) has introduced the sub group of autism spectrum disorders called criminal autistic psychopathy to cover the section of the spectrum where criminality occurs. It links with the new work on callous and unemotional traits (Fitzgerald 2003) and with mass killings, school and other location shootings where criminal autistic psychopathy is not rare.