The Bottom Line
The bottom line, as we've all come to accept and know it is: that anyone married to someone who is functioning with Aspergers:
- You will be a caregiver only.
- You will be subjected to, on occasion, flaring tempers which may or may not be harmful for you.
- You will be living with someone who has only themselves as a focus in their lives and not their partner.
- You will be subjected to periods of paranoia, thus becoming the focal point for such negative behaviour.
- You will live with someone who doesn't 'get it' insofar as sharing their lives with you emotionally or financially in any supportive way.
- You may possibly end up in the care of doctors for physical ailments related to feelings of neglect.
- You will end up in therapy trying to learn how to live with someone with Aspergers because you will have been fully convinced by the AS partner that you are to blame for his or her problems, thus ending up with a massive case of self-doubt.
- You will be charmed, subjected to an overload of initial attention so that you are made to feel special and then when you succumb to the this focused attention, make the commitment to join that person in your life's journey, will quickly discover that all the charm, the apparent loving attention is simply set aside and forgotten with the AS person off onto the next quest in their lives.
- In the end, you may stay with the AS person out of financial concern for yourself only.
- You may end up permanently depressed or build a life of your own within the context of what society calls a marriage.
- You will end up cynical and going to your grave feeling blamed for everything in your life. Such a burden you can accept or not. Either way you end up angry.
- People in general will not understand why you've been flapping around for however many years you've been connected to this AS person because it seems to the outside world you're the difficult one.
There is no 13.
If there was, 13 it would be: give it up before you get involved. Trouble is: there is not enough truthful information out there to warn you about the condition in advance.